DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE life is full of unfixable? They keep you sleepless and threaten to swallow hope whole. Wonderful women grieve their singleness. Spouses grieve over their marriage or the cancer that ravages their beloved. Parents grieve their children’s choices. People we love money move away or die. Sorrow can show up in a heartbeat. In Help, Thanks, Wow, Anne Lamott writes:
Even for a crabby optimist like me things couldn’t be worse…. The planet does not seem long for this world….
What I wanted my whole life was relief — from pressure, isolation, people’s suffering (including my own…), and entire political administrations… I feel that I can’t stand one single more death in my life.
Learning what to do with our pain and grief is a large part of the Christian journey. Culture says, “Buck up. Get a grip. Control you emotions. Don’t feel. Don’t talk. Stuff the pain. Pretend or medicate if you have to — but get over it and move on.” Christian culture can say, “If you are full of faith, you won’t get hurt, confused and discouraged. You won’t feel helpless or have a life filled with pain and loss.” This myth doesn’t;t do justice to our lives, to Scripture, or to the life of Jesus.
The liquid entreaty of tears is a huge part of the biblical text…. all weep. Jesus weeps (John 11:35). And he’s in good company because God started grieving over the mess his best beloved made just six chapters into Genesis (Genesis 6:6). The Trinity seems quite at home in the watery world or tears. Jesus, the man of sorrows, teaches that those who weep and mourn are “blessed” (Matthew 5:4). The Holy Spirit prays for us with worlds groans (Romans 8:26).
Sometimes the best response to the brokenness of this world and my own life is a mixture of tears and prayers. Something about them puts us in solidarity with human misery. At the end of our resources we seem wired to weep and cray “help.” in fact, research on tears confirms that they wash away toxin and release endorphins that help restore psychological balance. Tears and prayers of lament won’t solve the problem of suffering, but they can stanch the raw nerve of pain by throwing us into the arms of God….
One day God wipes every tear away (Revelation 21:3-4). Every sorrow is behind us. But until that day we have a place to go with our pain and a way to pray it out before god. Trust yourself and your tears to the One who is acquainted with grief. Lean into some of the laments of Scripture and find your own heart’s sorrow written in the book of life.
SPIRITUAL EXERCISES:
- Lamentations 3 is a graphic lament. Where does this lament clarify your own experience and turn you to God?
- Practice feeling your sadness. Don’t numb it; don’t narcotize it. Bring the sadness to Jesus and ask him to help you with this load.
- Turn to John 11 and imagine you are present when Jesus begins to weep (v. 35). Pay attention to him. What do his tears say to you?